Desert Island Discs

Yes, it will be fantastic when I reteach myself basic HTML, so that, for instance, I could publish the title above in bold print. (Cue Nick Cave and Shane MacGowan: "And I think to myself/What a wonderful world . . ."). For now, though, please imagine the above title in striking bold.

Choosing my 10 favorite albums of all time has never been an easy task --- at least until after seventh grade, when the only two albums I listened to for approximately a year were Kiss's "Kiss Alive!" and Queen's "A Night at the Opera" (Only one of which has remained in my top 10 this entire time. Which one? Ooh, not yet!). Kiss's powerful anthems certainly helped spark or at least strengthen my adolescent interest in the fairer sex (no band has ever bettered their use of repeated rhyming couplets that ended with "knees" and "please"), and they probably caused their fair share of teen pregnancies across our nation, as well. Queen's milestone album showed me that there was more to hard rock than power chords.

I tried numbering the list below in order of 1 to 10, but it just doesn't work --- too tough. How can I rate so and so above band x, etc. So here, for your amusement and in no certain order, is my list of the 10 albums I would want with me if I were stranded on a desert island:

Kiss: "Kiss Alive" --- see above. Deservedly hailed as one of the greatest rock albums and one of the greatest live rock albums of all time. All pomp, swagger, testosterone, and crunch, it makes you feel that a hedonistic lifestyle with no repercussions is attainable . . .

Echo and the Bunnymen: "Ocean Rain" --- A masterpiece from my favorite band of the new wave era. The brooding soundscapes and surreal lyrics are still very much there, but a newfound sense of cautious optimism sets this album apart from their others.

Sparks: "Kimono My House" --- The brothers Mael are still making music and staying ahead of the trends (they recently abandoned their electronica leanings for a somewhat orchestral dance album with no percussion), but this work from the early '70s still sounds great today. And what clever lyricists these brothers are. In the paean to first-time sexual experiences "Amateur Hour," they give us insights suh as "Girls grow tops to go topless in/While we sit and count the hairs that blossom on our chin," and "It's a lot like playing the violin/You cannot start off and be Yehudi Menuin." In "Talent is an Asset," written from the point of view of Albert Einstein's parents when he was a child, we have the line, "One day he will reassess the world/And he'll still have time for lots of girls." Okay, two more: in "Hasta Manana, Monsieur," in which the protagonist attempts to pick up a gal who doesn't speak his language: "I tried to tell you in the night/That with a girl like you I could do without guided tours/You tried to tell me in the day/That your leading exports were textiles and iron ore;" and "You mentioned Kant and I was shocked ... so shocked/You know, where I come from, none of the girls have such foul tongues." One final note: I believe that this band and this album, especially the song "Equator," was a major influence on Queen.

Kate Bush: "Hounds of Love" --- Simply amazing and wonderful. One of the very best albums recorded in the eighties.

The Clash: "London Calling" --- The Clash went from one of the best punk bands to one of the best rock bands in the world with this superb double album.

Liz Phair: "Exile in Guyville --- Let the naysayers nay all they want about her subsequent albums, this double-album debut was one of the finest moments of the '90s. This album brashly mixed vulnerability with self-strengthening, and raaawks.

PJ Harvey: "Dry" --- Another of the nineties' greatest moments. This was real alternative music from the era, and this album is in your face from start to finish.

The Smiths: "The Smiths" --- "What Difference Does It Make?" It made a huge difference to me, Morissey, Marr, and company. This band got me through many a depressed mood back in the day, and a lot of people missed their wry sense of humor about feeling sorry for yourself. They made you feel like you weren't alone in being pessimistic about what the future held. And then I discovered one of their major influences, that being . . .

Leonard Cohen. I could put most of his albums here, but I'll go with "Various Positions," because it was the first one I heard from the master. As many have stated before me, "Only Leonard understands."

Cristina: "Sleep It Off" --- A caustic look at the depressing trappings of the well-to-do, this album is truly one of a kind, and one of the lost masterpieces of the eighties. I've long considered it to be the rich-and-privileged-female version of Lou Reed's "Street Hassle." Please scroll down or search my archives for my previous posting about Cristina. (Note to new visitors: clicking on the archives should allow you to go back as far as my very first posting, if you feel so inclined.)

Wow, is that ten already? Here are a few honorable mentions that, on any given day, could grab that coveted tenth spot: "Feline" by The Stranglers, "Remote Luxury" by The Church, "Give Us a Wink" by Sweet, "Odyssey Number Five" by Powderfinger, "Penthouse" by Luna, "Hips & Makers" by Kristin Hersh, "Lost Souls" by Doves . . . I'd better stop there.